When you are being dragged along the asphalt at forty-five miles per hour from behind a five hundred horse power motorcycle your skin burns and starts peeling. You can still squirm around; it will help to shift your arms around taking time for one elbow to cool off for a second or two. You still must move back and forth so you can dodge gravel as it is thrown in your face. However, your legs take more damage tearing away the fabric of your pants, tearing apart your knees through you skin, muscles, and tendons until eventually you will never be able to walk again. You can try flipping over and skid on your back, the muscles on you back are tougher and the surface size is larger allowing the pain to be displace wider apart, but as the soft cushion of your butt is torn apart by gravel irreversible damage can occur. At fifty miles per hour the ground is moving so fast that you can no longer move, the pain becomes constant with no way to hold it off. Your skin and flesh is stripped away as more and more pieces of gravel imbed themselves into you. All it takes is one pothole or quick turn and you’re back on your stomach again getting a face full of asphalt. The chains around your wrists bind tighter pulling your bones out of their sockets. Soon your body becomes numb to everything but the burning hot pain. Your face becomes deformed by the constant friction making you deformed and unrecognizable. Your genitals are also torn apart leaving you unable to control you bodily functions. As the bike reaches sixty miles per hour, you start to black out, it becomes difficult to breath. All you can experience is pain as you fight to breath.
The night sky was beautiful with not a star, but the neon signs on store fronts left streaks of light all around the futuristic city. The engine revved louder sounding like the roar of a dragon as four hundred pounds of steel and rubber surged across the road. Frank Castle The Punisher held onto the hips of his new partner in justice, Jake Gallows the Punisher of 2099. They both looked rather the same with black slick back hair and rippling muscles. Jake Gallows however had more youthful features with tighter skin and sharper check bones. Their friendship had just been forged as they took down a black-market weapons ring. They dismembered and killed dozens of scum bags in a church with high powered weaponry. They killed all the thugs except for one who they are now dragging behind them. They shall teach him the true meaning of punishment.
As they pulled up to the Punisher 2099’s base of operations, Jake presses a button on control console of his motorcycle and a garage door opened near the front door.
“Hold up, what’s that?” He turned his head to Frank Castle and pointed at a weird computer that sat on the ground with a diamond incrusted baseball bat sticking out of it.
“That is the time machine that my team and I used to travel here,” The Punisher answered as he got off the bike. “It was made with a baseball bat that was used by a thug named the Czar. The diamonds imbedded in it are time crystals that send people through time when touched. Microchip modified it so that we could travel to exact dates.”
“Very nice I admire your associate’s craftsmanship,” Punisher 2099 said before parked his motorcycle in the garage.
As he returned walking back, he scratched the back of his neck and avoided eye contact with The Punisher. “Do you have to leave so soon? I was hoping you would stay so that I could show you around the Punishment Hotel. I want to make you proud to see your legacy live on.”
“Yes, I would like that.”
Punisher 2099 bent down to remove the chains off the wrists of their newly captured thug. He was still unconscious so he picked him up and slung him over his shoulder so he could carry him as they entered the building.
As they walked down the stairs to the Punisher 2099’s basement makeshift prison they could hear the Maylene and Microchip bickering like father and daughter.
“I did not sign up to be some blood mopping cleaning lady!” screamed the college intern Maylene.
“You can’t go out following around The Punisher or else we’re going to be mopping up your blood,” screamed back the pudgy middle aged Microchip.
They stopped and turned to the stairs as they noticed The Punishers walking down them.
“Well, well isn’t it my favorite shipping couple, Castllows.”
“Castllows?” Punisher 2099 arched one eyebrow in confusion.
“You know the combination of your two last names Castle and Gallows.”
The Punisher walked past them not acknowledging them.
“The Punisher is not amused,” commented Microchip.
Maylene chased after The Punisher and said to him, “Hey, tell your friend that you hired me for my skills, to help you fight crime and not to clean up your messes.”
The Punisher let out a deep sigh, turned to her and said, “I didn’t hire you, he did and I don’t care about you. If I had my way you wouldn’t be with us.”
Maylene froze in place feeling devastated. Microchip walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder and said, “He doesn’t like you, but don’t take it personal, I don’t think he even likes me.”
Punisher 2099 readjusted the still unconscious thug on his should then ran up to catch up to The Punisher and directed his attention to the rows of cells that he has his prisoners in.
“Impressive, you seem to have quite a nice set up here,” The Punisher admired.
“Yes, let me show you,” Punisher 2099 opened one cell with metal bed in it and carried the thug inside. Once inside he placed hand cuffs around his wrists and ankles then slapped his face a few times.
“Wake up scum bag, and say hello to your personal hell.”
The thug slowly regain conscious. Once he saw the eyes of his captor he screamed and frantically tried to get away, but the handcuffs kept him from running or even standing.
“Shhhh, screaming will not help you. There is no one here to help you, there is only me, your greatest nightmare.” He clamped his hands on the shoulders the thug.
The thug stopped fighting, but his body shook in fear. Punisher 2099 smiled and pointed at the metal bed.
“You see that over there, it is your new bed, but you won’t be sleeping on it. No, instead you will be spending every waking moment screaming in pain.”
He picked up a remote control and showed it to the thug.
“You see with this button, I can use it to shock you with thousands of volts of electricity.” He presses the button and the bed glowed with blue electricity.
“With this button, I can cook you from the inside out.” The bed glowed red with burning heat.
“Next is this amazing feature that I can use to make spikes poke up and stick you in a hundred different places.” Small holes opened in the bed and spikes raised up.
“Then there is my most favorite feature it’s called the stretcher. Let me show you how it works.”
Punisher 2099 picked up the thug and carried him to the bed.
“Please don’t do this. I won’t hurt anyone anymore. Let me go and I’ll go straight,” the thug begged. “I’ll adopt homeless children and help in animal shelters. I’ll stop eating glutton! Please don’t do this!”
“It’s too late for that, you must suffer for your sins.” He placed him on the bed with his arms raised above his head. Magnets held the handcuffs in place making it impossible for him to move his arms and legs.
“This bed can grow and stretch to pull you limbs longer. It also has speed settings to make it last minutes or even days. I think I’ll set it to a three-day cycle so that you will feel your bones being slowly pulled out of their sockets.”
“No, no, let me go. This isn’t fair!” the thug cried out.
Punisher 2099 payed no attention as he turned around and walked out of the cell.
“Interesting interrogating methods,” complemented The Punisher.
“Thanks, I pride myself in my work,” said Punisher 2099 with cheeks actually blushing. “I have honed my skills to a point that with enough time and pain I could even make you squeal.”
“Not likely, I have a cyanide capsule in my back molar. If anyone was ever strong enough to capture me and try to torture me, I would just break the capsule, swallow it, and kill myself.”
“That’s nice, but if your captor knew about it, and removed it, you would be shit out of luck and he’ll be able to do whatever he wanted to do wtih you.”
“You’re really cocky for an amateur.”
“I don’t mean to sound arrogant, I’m just confident in my work. Come let me show you more of my work.” Punisher 2099 motioned with his hands for The Punisher to follow him down the hallway of cells.
“To the left is Alexander Odalric,” Punisher 2099 pointed to a cell with a man strapped to a table with a rag over his face and a high-powered hose spraying his face. “He liked to take pleasure in drowning children, so I crafted this waterboarding machine to spray him with gallons of water for minute long intervals with five second gaps in between.”
“Over here I have one of my most prized prisoners. He’s name is Kron Stone, the killer of my family,” Kron was strapped to a chair with a rictus like grin on his face, his eyes pried open and a television in front of him. “Like you I too witnessed my family being murdered before me, but they weren’t caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. You see Kron here grew up in an abusive family that hated him, making him bitter to the point that now he hates to see happy families and it drives him to kill any happy family that he sees. So, as punishment I force him to watch the Brady Bunch all day long and implanted sensors in his cheeks so that if he ever stops smiling he will be shocked with 50,000 volts of electricity, but I’m not completely inhumane. I let him sleep five hours a night and feed him three meals of SpaghettiOs daily.”
Punisher 2099 smiled in delight, The Punisher was disgusted.
“If you know he killed your family then why don’t you just kill him?” asked The Punisher. “If he is just a serial killer then there is no reason to keep him alive and interrogate him. It’s not like he is a low-level thug that might lead you to a wider criminal organization.”
“Death is too simple for him. He must suffer for the pain he’s caused, for the families that he killed and the people that he left behind. He is mine now, I shall do as I please to him.”
“This is too much,” The Punisher glared. “We are instruments of justice. We kill those who do wrong. We do not take pleasure in killing and torturing, because it is horrible and wrong. Otherwise we are just as much of monsters as they are.”
“No, I may be inspired by you, but I’m different,” Punisher 2099 was enraged. “I’m not a cop, I am not a vigilante. I am an angel of vengeance. I hunt done the evil doers and punish them as I see fitting.”
“That is not fair, they do not deserve what you do them. They deserve this.” The Punisher pulled out two Uzis.
With one shot between the eyes he killed Kron, then proceeded to spin around shooting wildly killing many of the inmates. With shattered glass and splattered blood, he freed the prisoners from their torture devices and sent them to hell. Shocked by seeing all his work being destroyed, Punisher 2099 was filled with raged causing him to charge The Punisher and punched him in the jaw to make him stop.
“Stop!” He yelled.
“It’s a shame,” The Punisher remained calm. “You had so much potential, but you threw it all away by pursuing your own perverted pleasures.”
The Punisher raised up one of the Uzi’s to kill, but before he could Maylene ran out and stood between them to stop him. “Wait you have no right to do this. You may not agree with his methods of judgement, but we are his guests here, we have to respect his property and not interfere. What you do here has no impact on the world that we come from. You’re just wasting bullets.”
“She’s right, this is pointless and let’s just return to our timeline,” said Microchip.
“No, I cannot change morals. Wherever I go if I see injustice I shall punish it,” said The Punisher.
“Fine then so be it,” With one arm Punisher 2099 grabbed Maylene and shoved her to the ground. Then with the other hand he pulled out his .54 Magnum and fired two shots at The Punisher. He ducked out of the way and ran off down the hall. Microchip grabbed Maylene and lead her to safety. Once The Punisher saw that they were out of the way he turned around and threw two grenades at Punisher 2099, but he was quick to get out of the way. The cells collapsed and blew apart as they exploded, but no one was harmed, instead the prisoners were freed. The Punishers however didn’t care, they were only motivated to kill each other. With thick smoke and debris filling the air the prisoners could make a quick escape.
“I used to worship you, now I see how foolish I was,” shouted Punisher 2099. “You are nothing but a coward, afraid to embrace your true status as a God.”
“No, you are insane,” The Punisher shouted back. “You’ve been consumed with madness and the only cure for it is a bullet from my gun.”
“If we must fight then so be it, but it’s a shame, we could have made history. Together we could have had all of the criminals on their knees begging for mercy and we would I ruled over them as kings.”
The Punisher used to the shouts of his opponent to guide him through the smoke and debris, as Punisher 2099 ran for his personal armory.
* * *
Running down the alleyway newly captured thug Daniel Hume was relieved to discover that he will not have to spend a night in the Punishment Hotel. After losing half his face to being dragged behind a motorcycle he dreaded whatever Punisher 2099 had is store for him and after seeing the torture bed he begun praying for the sweet relief of death. However, being alive was something that he valued much more which was why he took this opportunity to escape while he still could. Unfortunately little did he know that his freedom would not last long.
“Freeze! Stop!” was the only warning he got before two seconds later a steel trash can lid came flying through the air into the back of his head, causing him to fall down. He caught himself with his hands and knees, but as he stood up he was sent back down by a boot stomping on his back.
“I said freeze, you’re under arrest!” Maylene yelled as she stomped on his back again.
Daniel fought back by rolling over and grabbing her leg. He used his momentum to knock her down to the ground. She countered back by kicking him in the face. Frustrated and desperate to get away he slammed his fists into her knees, then rolled away far enough to be able to stand back up without her reaching him. Maylene however was also quick to get back her feet as they stood back up at the same time and they locked eyes. Danial didn’t want to fight, he just wanted to run away, but he realized that if he were to get away he would have to fight her first. So he charged her grabbing her shoulders and slamming her into the brick wall. Being pinned against the wall, Maylene realized that even though she didn’t like fighting dirty she was going to have to in order to defeat her opponent. With a quick kick to the crotch she was able to get him to release his grip on her shoulders then she grabbed a nearby trash can and threw it at his head, disorientating him. This gave her enough time to grab a small piece of rope out of the garbage and tie him up against a chain link fence.
Feeling proud of herself Maylene dusted herself off as she stood back up and said, “That should hold you for bit. You have the right to remain silence. Anything you say-“
Startled, Maylene jumped back from blood splattered over her clothes as Daniel’s head exploded from a gunshot. She turned around to see standing behind her was Microchip holding a smoking gun.
“Thanks, for tying him up for me,” he said.
“What the hell?!” She yelled at him.
“What? Did you want to kill him? Why did you tie him up for?”
“I was apprehending him so that the police could arrest him.”
“The police cannot be trusted, they take too much time and if they ever do their actual job and send him to prison, he’ll back on the streets in a few years. Killing him is the only way to be sure that he never does anything illicit again.”
“Okay you want to do it that way, then give me a gun and we can take out more of Jake Gallow’s escaped prisoners.”
“Never mind let’s go,” with a sudden change of heart Microchip turned around and walked back down the alleyway.
“What the hell? You preach to me about pursuing your own form of justice as vigilantes, but when I agree to go along with your ways you push me away and keep me in the dark. You need to stop with being such a hypocrite and let me actually work with you.”
“Come with me, Frank should be done fighting the other guy soon, and when he does we should meet him by the time machine so that he doesn’t leave without us.”
“No, don’t keep brushing me off! You just saw what I can do. You know I can handle myself in a fight and you know that I am at the top of my class in Criminal Justice Studies. Also, I am no stranger to guns, so why do you keep doing this to me?”
Microchip let out a deep sigh and rubbed his temples, “You’re fired. We will no longer need your assistance, we will cancel any payment to your student loans, and you will not receive any credits. So now you have a choice: you can either come with me and go back to our timeline or you can stay here. It’s up to you.”
Maylene stood still with a steely glare. At first, she didn’t care and was willing to stay, but then she remembered that she had stolen The Punisher’s War Journal. With her hand, she discreetly reached behind her back to make sure it was still hidden under her shirt and stuck in her waistband. There was no way she could stay in this time line with it. If she went back to her time line she could use it change the world. So she let out a deep sigh and followed Microchip back down the alleyway.
* * *
The Punisher ran through the hideout until he came out the front door. Once outside he looked up to the sky to see Punisher 2099 hovering in the air with a jetpack strapped to his back and holding a .54 magnum in one hand and a grenade launcher in the other.
“If it’s a fight you want then it’s a fight you’ll get!” He shouted before raining down bullets and grenades upon The Punisher. To avoid the barrage of death The Punisher ran back into the hide out for cover.
“There is no hiding! I will bring down the whole building down upon you and pull you out of the rubble to tear you apart limb from limb!” he proceeded to launch more grenades at the hideout causing parts of it to crumble apart.
With a loud rumble and bang the garage door broke apart as The Punisher burst forth from it on Punisher 2099’s motorcycle.
“I don’t need a jetpack, all I need is hate!” He yelled as he reeved up the motorcycle before he took off as fast as he could. He reached two hundred miles per hour in an eighth of a mile before he drove himself towards a parked car on the road right below Punisher 2099. Before he reached the car, he got up with his feet on the seat, but kept his hands on the handle bars. As the motorcycle impacted with the car the back flipped up in the air and the gas tank exploded, launching him up in the air like a human heat seeking missile. Punisher 2099 was shocked and caught off guard as The Punisher grabbed onto him. They embraced in midair as two birds of prey in fierce combat.
“There is no form of technology that will protect you from the brutal force of my fist!” Shouted The Punisher before he proceeded to punch Punisher 2099 a few times in the jaw. He tried to fight him off by punching back, but despite being at a disadvantage The Punisher still had the upper hand in the fight as he grabbed on to the back of the jetpack and pulled out several random wires. These wires where vital to the jetpack propulsion system and without them they began to fall towards the ground at an alarming speed. As they fell The Punisher continued to punch Punisher 2099 in the face.
The ground shook as they hit the street. Punisher 2099 landed on the bottom, but his armor adsorbed the impact causing it to shatter and fall apart. They didn’t waste any time as they got back up. As soon as they were back on their feet they went back to fighting. Striking with all their might with their fists and feet. Fist to jaw, knee to ribs, elbow to throat. They didn’t hold back this would be a fight to the finish. The two met as at a stalemate as they were evenly matched. They could take each other’s punches and knew each other’s attacks. As soon as one tried to deliver a finisher attack the other would counter it. Each kick or punch was evenly matched. If one tried to break away the other would grab them and pull them back. Neither one could gain the upper hand, they were too evenly matched.
Sweat dripped off their faces, muscles where sore, veins bulged, and bones ached. They grew tried, but neither would give up. The two men continued fighting with same amount of hatred as before. There was only one way that this fight could end. So, The Punisher grabbed Punisher 2099 and brought him close to his body, embracing him in his large muscular arms. He pressed his lips to him, kissing him hard. His lips where salty and chapped, but still soft and full. Punisher 2099 was shocked and a little scared, not knowing how to process what was happening. Their lips parted and their mouths opened as The Punisher inserted his tongue. Held on top of his tongue was the cyanide capsule that he had kept inside of his back molar. He had broken his molar earlier, but was careful to keep the cyanide capsule intact so that he could use it to kill Punisher 2099.
With a swift upper cup to his jaw, The Punisher forced him to bite down on the cyanide capsule releasing the poison. He choked and convulsed as it slid down his throat.
“Cyanide can be deadly if you eat it, but a kiss could be even deadlier if you mean it,” said The Punisher as he watched his young protégé wither and die.
“Oh my god, were the two of you just kissing?” The Punisher turned around to see Maylene and Microchip watching him.
“Well I guess that is one way to kill a man,” said Microchip.
“He had it coming,” He walked past them towards the time machine. “We should leave. The police will be here soon.”
They could already hear sirens grow loud as they crossed the street. There must have been at least twenty officers as they drove in on the motorcycles. Microchip rushed to reset the time machine. The police surrounded them, got off their bikes and aimed their large hand guns. They looked intimidating with their bulky armor and helmets that covered half of their faces. One of them stood taller than the rest, he had large badge on his chest and a square jaw. He walked forward with his gun aimed and said, “Freeze! I am judge, jury, and executioner. And my judgement for you is death.”
“Not today,” said The Punisher as he and Maylene grabbed ahold the time machine and Microchip pressed the enter button sending them back in time. They disappeared before the police officers and they were left feeling like failures.
“Yeah, some other time.”
Disclaimer: The Punisher (Frank Castle), Punisher 2099 (Jake Gallows), and Microchip are characters owned by Marvel comics. The Punisher was created by Gerry Conway and John Romita Sr. Jake Gallows was created by Pat Mills, Tony Skipper, and Tom Morgan. Microchip was created by Mike Baron and Klaus Janson. I, Christopher Kral, do not claim any ownership of these characters. This is a work of parody and I do not make any profit off of this written work. The donation button at the top is not meant to be a required payment to read, but instead a way for the reader to give back if they enjoy the story.